Episode 65: Grieving, Acknowledging + Taking Action with Lauren Selfridge

EPISODE OVERVIEW

Hi community. This week's episode is short, because I'd like to take some time together and invite you to sit with me as we acknowledge the collective community trauma of racial oppression in the United States, which is the country where this podcast is recorded. If you're a black listener, I want you to know that whatever feelings are showing up for you right now are valid and I'm holding you in my heart.

This podcast focuses on spiritual development through chronic illness. I think that spiritual development is necessary in so many areas of life. It's in these moments of pain when we really have an opportunity to transform. And part of where we need transformation in our world and our country is in the area of racial oppression.

We've definitely covered the concept of internalized ableism several times on this podcast. It's a form of internalized oppression—or the idea that who I am isn't worthy or isn't as worthy because of my level of physical ability. And what we haven't explored as much of—at least on this podcast—is the concept of internalized dominance. And that's the idea that who I am is more worthy, more normal, more valid, because of some part of my unearned identity privilege, like my white skin. As a white person, one way that that shows up for me is that I can feel a desire to step back from this conversation and either stay numb or oblivious, or hide for fear of doing it imperfectly. And that's just one of the many ways that I experience that unearned privilege. It's the idea that I can separate myself from this violence and that I don't have to live in fear for my own life due to the color of my skin. Now is not the time to lean into that urge to turn away from what's going on.

So let's take a moment to bless and honor the precious lives of our black community members who were murdered by white police and white civilians.

Acknowledging these murders and this pattern of violence is important. Because not acknowledging it adds to the trauma and that's not what this podcast is about. This podcast is about sitting with the hard stuff. And I want to sit with you.

If I could, I'd sit in your living room with you and we could talk about the fact that, just as we with chronic illness and health challenges need allies in our lives who love us and believe us, our community members of color need loving white allies. We're not meant to do the work of creating a just world alone. And especially for our white community members including myself, it's up to all of us to listen and to believe and to take action. Part of taking action is understanding what your role is, what your responsibility is, where your power lies, and where your skills and gifts are... What you have to offer. So you may have a sphere of influence in your life where you can make a difference. And now is a time to be assessing where you can make a difference.

So if you'd like some support with that, I've put together a resource page for our podcast community which you can find at thisisnotwhatiordered.com/racialjustice. This is a place that you can go if you want to find specific ways to take action in support of racial justice, as well as thoughtful explorations of what white privilege is. There are also resources for our black and brown community members who may be so exhausted right now--resources for care and nourishment.

I invite you to email me at lauren@thisisnotwhatiordered.com if you have a contribution to that resource page. You're also invited to get in touch with me just to connect about this.I want you to know that you're not alone and you don't have to hold this alone. Even if we may be apart physically, this is a time where our open-hearted presence is needed. So I invite you to sit in community as we find a new way together.

If you'd like to gather in community with other listeners of the podcast, you can go to thisisnotwhatiordered.com/cafe to join the podcast cafe. You'll find space there to feel your feelings, to grieve together, and to talk about plans for action. And again if you'd like to check out the racial justice resources page for This Is Not What I Ordered, if you want to plan some action, if you want to get some nourishment, you can go to thisisnotwhatiordered.com/racialjustice.

With love,
Lauren